It's not something I should be proud of.
It drags me down, to the bottom.
How could you just simply hate someone?
After how much they've hurt you, taught you to be someone different, torn your heart out and stepped on it multiple times, wished that your existence ended.
And yet you still forgive them.
Maybe it's just pity, or maybe it's that; this particular person was with you through everything and that the only thing you can see in them, is the good things they have done for you. What they have sacrificed will then be the clearer picture you see.
Some might want to destroy them.
And honestly if she wants to destroy them now, why didn't she think about this earlier. That maybe for a moment, things would end badly. It would be no fairytale.
I guess now it's her mistake to learn from. But it's too late now. She's put it off for way to long to fix things. There is no solution, there is only ending. The end of this will free her. From her own mistake.
And for me it's hands down, I'm too proud for love.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Pessimist.
Just sitting there reading that article.
It reminded me of how much hope I had.
How much, even though I knew it wasn't possible. I made myself, believe that it would happen. I hoped and made myself believe over and over again. I fought for it, I fought for you.
No one mattered as much as you did. No one had what you had. That spark you had in your eyes, and even though you were as cold as an iceberg, you still filled me with hope, you filled me with something no one ever can ever define. It was almost as if gravity wasn't the one holding me down, it was you.
You were everything and now you've become nothing.
As if you fell from heaven and then you faded into the pits of hell.
And now I’m a pessimist, bringing out the worst in everything, because I'm afraid of being hurt again.
I used to do things without thinking and now I even over analyse things. Turning beautiful amazing things into filth. I habitually see the worst, and only the worst.
I wish you never existed, not now, not yet.
It reminded me of how much hope I had.
How much, even though I knew it wasn't possible. I made myself, believe that it would happen. I hoped and made myself believe over and over again. I fought for it, I fought for you.
No one mattered as much as you did. No one had what you had. That spark you had in your eyes, and even though you were as cold as an iceberg, you still filled me with hope, you filled me with something no one ever can ever define. It was almost as if gravity wasn't the one holding me down, it was you.
You were everything and now you've become nothing.
As if you fell from heaven and then you faded into the pits of hell.
And now I’m a pessimist, bringing out the worst in everything, because I'm afraid of being hurt again.
I used to do things without thinking and now I even over analyse things. Turning beautiful amazing things into filth. I habitually see the worst, and only the worst.
I wish you never existed, not now, not yet.
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