Brutality.

For once. For once it hit me just then.
No matter how much I have, no matter how hard I try.
I'm never good enough.
It just hit me out of nowhere.
The realisation. What was really wrong.
How could I be so blind. It wasn't something new.
It happened all the time. Throughout everything.
If I really were, I would have had what I wanted already.
I would have had what I needed.
A part of me wants to break everything, the other is trying to control it.
I never saw this coming before.
And now it hurts. It really hurts.
I can barely breath.
I'm going to walk away now.
I will never be good enough.

x.