Hope.

I hope this title has not been repeated.
It's been a few months since I've come here, to lay my thoughts on paper.
I miss it here, so therefore I've decided to write tonight.

As usual, I feel as if I’m trapped alone in an unknown place, where home is nowhere near.
Maybe I'm supposed to be a lost soul, maybe I'm not supposed to find my way back.
I feel as if there is something missing, or something that's just not quite right. I find myself running in circles, at the same place repeatedly and not realising that I've been doing it.
I'm a lovely person but then something happens to me, something I'm not quite familiar with just yet. I turn into something that's deranged and eccentric, I lose control of who I'm supposed to be and I become something I'm not. I become extremely precarious and indecisive. As if I'm shaking uncontrollably and I don't know why and I don't know why I can't control it. It eats me up from the inside, it swallows me whole. I become nothing but a monster full of hate and despair.
I live in fear, the thoughts of me becoming insane and pushing everything good far far away.
But that a different story..Right?