It's just me

I can't quite comprehend how I'm feeling right now. I feel a mix of exhaustion and distress. It eats me from the inside really, not being to find my own way back from difficult situations. I sometimes wish I had someone leading me in the right direction, so I could come clean with my true self and be a better person. I feel so much agitation towards most things, because everything leaves me behind. I have never in my life believed in completely relying on someone for happiness. However I still haven't managed to find the happiness of my own. I don't have many ways to keep myself happy and after a short time they become quite useless and boring to me. I'll never be quite fully satisfied with my surroundings, yet I feel as if I push the boundaries way too far for me to get what I want. Which is not completely the right thing to do, or so I think. I am a good person, yet my mind fools me sometimes.