I seriously don't know where I'm going with this or how long it will last.
I feel fine, I feel perfect but it's so easy for me to fall down and start tearing.
It's disgusting, since when was I ever like this. I can't feel my strength anymore.
I find it hard to find the urge to fight my emotions, the reckless ones, the ones that make me feel like a pile of shit.
I'm starting to hate nearly everything and love only a few.
The damage has been done, the wounds are healed but turned into scars. So what exactly happens when you start damaging those scars again. It's just the same pain, the same hurt and just simply the same damage as the first time.
I need it to stop, but how can I when every now and then someone enters my life and screws everything up.
I even regret letting some people in my life. They're all a bunch of assholes.
I have a big heart and big dreams, I'm definitely above average but at the same time the scars are still visible, to everyone. It's like they aim for them, wanting to bring the aching, the dull, steady pain back.
I had everything from time to time and suddenly, it was like everything was nothing. It just disappeared.
And I know want it back.
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