Nightmare

I'm trying so hard to be happy again.
It seems impossible. My happiness does not seem to return.
I chase it, I catch it and then I just let it slip through my fingers.
I don't even know how it happened, one flash and it was taken away from me.
My thinking is constant. I'm thinking so much about things.
My concentration is indescribable. I focus so hard on things, even unimportant things.
I want those to stop.
I want to pause my life so I can finally clear my head.
Everything seems so dull, so confusing, so insecure.
It feels like when you're in a dream.
You're running and you're chocking for breath.
You're running, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't run fast enough.
You can't move your legs, they feel heavy. You're whole body feels heavy it doesn't seem to respond to you.
This is not a dream, it’s a terrifying nightmare.
I want to wake up.
But can I?

Emotion

“When sadness comes, just sit by the side and look at it and say,I am the watcher, I am not sadness,” and see the difference. Immediately you have cut the very root of sadness. It is no more nourished. It will die of starvation. We feed these emotions by being identified with them.”

Pieces

Meh i’m tired.

I thought i should come here and write some things down so they can stay out of my head.I’m annnoyed at some people.I can’t sleep much at night, it’s annoying.I’m never fully sutisfied.And i’m still running to get to the other side.

x.