Pull me out from inside.

I will never, ever forget about you.
Time passes and it will continue passing.
But you never will.
You'll remain there and it will kill me.
You have believed my lies and I'm glad about that.
Why?, because you will never be able to handle the truth. You will think differently.
I wrote you a letter with all my thoughts and feelings. It's a shame that you'll never see it.
I guess i'll leave you as a memory in my mind, a memory that will haunt.
I don't care about the pain anymore, I'm used to it. But I hate how I let it control me sometimes.
I broke things, things that are easy to break, I saw them as being weaker and breaking them felt good.
Everyones sick of me for not running or leaving or forgeting about this. But honestly not many people could understand what's going on. After all their my thoughts not theirs.
I'm afraid now, afraid if you will remain forever, afraid that I would like to re-claim you in a different person.
I even make it sound so bad lol. But really, really now.
This is a catastrophe.

Un-Answered

And you’ve failed again.
I don’t even know if you ever try hard enough.
Where is the trust?
So how can I trust you, when I feel like I don’t even know you anymore?
I’m not giving up on you because I know that you can become better.
But you disappoint me. Over and over again.
You are powerless; you have nothing because you don’t strive for it.
You intend to just let it go, carelessly every time.
I tried figuring you out, but you always have an excuse to get out of it, not wanting to tell me things and leaving me confused.
I guess you still haven’t grown up yet, you’re still that immature little child.
Denying you did something wrong, running away from things and leaving questions un-answered.
You even know I’m more powerful.
Now I choose to stop sharing my thoughts with you, Nor give you advices, nor help you out.
To me it’s just a waste of time when you don’t even bother taking them, when you even know
I’m right.

9/9/2009

Muaahahaha it's the 9/9/2009.
Believe it or not, number 9 is my favourite number.
It's cool.
I recieved my elective sheet and I chose Visual Arts and Drama.

Anyway i'm not here to talk about my electives.
I'm here because I'm bored and I like blogging on this thing.

So yer, I lost one of my most precious friends, i really did love him, he was absolutely amazing.
He made me smile all the time, he was always there, he kept me happy, he made me stop worrying about unimportant things.
He even loved me, and I appreciated he’s love, but it didn’t last.
It was probably because of that stupid so called “complication” of mine.
The “complication” most people know of. I didn’t want him and he knew that, I wanted someone else, someone that meant the world to me, someone who satisfied me. I feel so selfish; all I thought of was myself and how to get my happiness back. I made him feel the pain I felt, I told him horrible stuff.
I regret it now.
I wish I could re-claim his friendship, his honesty, his trust, his love.
I will do anything to get this amazing person back.
I miss you A.