Anchors on my heart.

It’s really no fun when I’m in the mood where “I want to punch shit”, and then people decide to push my boundaries. I feel very empty and dull. I put a smile on my face so I can fool everyone. The girl full of life, is dead. Dead from the inside, dead all over. I’ve bound myself to control the way I feel towards things. When I finally realized I don’t, quite want to feel anything. I’ve filled myself with emptiness. It’s better than anything else for me. I’ve felt the numbness, the urge to breath. That’s not for me. I want nothing.

Word.

I don't like choosing.
I feel so unsafe for some odd reason.
If I cave, everything around me will break.
Then comes the part where I realize that I've just made another mistake.
I'm not weak though. I've learnt to control my emotions, but not when it comes to infatuation and love. I seem to fall in love way too easily.
Lion hearted with shimmering cheeks.
I'll try standing tall. Fire above my head.
And I'll sink my head into the water, to leave me breathless for a while, sink my thoughts into the quite underworld.
I hate the sound of heartbeats though. It drives me insane. It's worse than the ticking sound a clock makes, when you're trying to fall into deep sleep.
And as you see. I skip. I skip everything. Even what I'm trying to write here.
It's skipped. Not showing what I'm trying to exactly say. Playing different chapters. Because that's what my life is doing at the moment. Playing different chapters at once.
I'm just playing my own mind games again. Leaving an anchor on your heart.
Yeah, I'm a devil's child. Sinking into my loneliness.
It's okay though. I'll be okay. I'll remain empty forever.
I may seem full of joy, But I'm empty, dead from the inside.
Emptiness will fill my heart forever.