Fuck this

I feel like every time I make a mistake it's the end of the road for me. I don't know how to be a better person when I have no one leading me in the right direction and I certainly cant change myself within a second. I try to be a better person for others but every time I fail, I become reminded of the dissapointment I've become and how even by imrpoving, I'm still a failure. Some say that imperfection is beauty, but I'm far from that. I don't know what to do anymore but I'm helpless. I have no one to reach out to because I'm the one that pushes everyone away. I'm not being a drama queen or complaining. I'm simply writing to express my pain. I don't really want to live anymore. But who cares.