Falling

I understand that I what I have done looks as wrong as ever, but it has taken absolutely everything from me. I feel as empty as a hole. The only thing Ive been good at is cry myself to sleep and wake up to myself crying. Nothing is worst than feeling this pain. I feel emotionally drained and I wouldnt mind if earth opened up and swallowed me right now. I may sound as a drama queen or whatever the fuck some of you want to think. These are my raw emotions I havent been able to write, mainly because i cant see the screen properly. I want to skip life, skip anything that would take this pain away. I can't just continuesly sob every night until I become fully empty. I need you, I need something thats not a constant reminder of how things used to be and maybe, just maybe I will never be able to have them back. That's what will really kill me. A new pain i never knew I'd ever encounter after all this time. This is not something I can just walk away from and instantly let go of. It will haunt me, once again. You'll be a constant reminder of something that I could never have and lost out of complete stupidity. I've never been this weak before, Ive never felt so lifeless in such a long time.